12 May 2008

Me or...a stranger?

It seems just like yesterday, but time flew off.
Somehow, we can never remain the same.
I should not regret the things I've done, because I'd never choose to do something else, in the same situation. It's odd to feel like I'm someone else, not myself anymore.
It seems so long that I've last escaped to my own world, yet it was only yesterday.
Somehow, I failed to see the reality.
I should wake up for there is nothing I can gain from running away from problems, but there are times that there is no corage to face anything.
Coward.
It seems that the younger me is much better than the actual me.

Success is like a push on the back to me. It's someone else's work.
Failure is like a slap on the face to me. It's my own fault.

Can I ever return to my old self? I wish I could, it's never too late, though I think I don't care about it anymore. The thing is: even if I work hard, even if I have success, there is no point for that. There is always someone else that will shatter all what I've done. There is always someone that will do much better. There will be endless people only to criticize my work even if I work to death. It's pointless.
Then what am I doing here?

That's a nice question. I say.
I wonder if I really think like what I've just written above. Probably not, or else it would be the end of me. If there is something I know it's not pointless, is to live my life to the fullest even though it can be foolish. Even if I'm a coward, no one can change me by blaming me for being the way I am.

Hell, I am wasting time!

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