29 July 2010

Panic

For the first time in my life I felt shock. Maybe not the first, the second (the very first one, I dare say, not many can remember).
Today, I met panic. Now, that I know what panic is, I hope to never meet it again. My body refused to obey my commands. I felt awful. I felt like throwing up, though I was hungry with potencially nothing in my stomach. I felt like passing out right there, and my eyes refused to see anything at all even though my glycemy level should be just fine and I'm not that much blind. Cold sweat all over me, tough it's summer and I'm supposed to sweat, but not like this.
I felt sick.
And the reason for all those reactions: my father PROBABLY broke his nose. There was just so much blood in his face at first. His face looked so swelled. After a while, it began to color. Not a very good color though, it was purple. Well, the external bleeding stopped, but I'm not very positive about this.
In a way, I'm glad I didn't go for a medicine course.

14 July 2010

Doomed

I finally begin to understand why this society is doomed. Because nobody gives a damn about education. People are brought up to be mediocre, not to be good at what they do. Just mediocre is enough for most of the society. That sucks. Or at least I think it does.
That may be my anger speaking, but I do feel a bit frustrated. Teachers, most of them don't guide their students to find answers on their own, or to look up what they want to know. If a student asks something a bit more complex, I find the usual answer very creative: "That doesn't matter." or "It doesn't exist". Which happens to mean, "I don't want to get worked up and explain it to you." Well, eventually, I can understand that sort of thinking. If every single student asked about something, the teacher would have so much trouble dealing with the questions. But, and there is a big but. Not every student wants to know more. Not every student wants to be excellent. That's what makes the difference. Just how many students geniuses-of-tomorrow were burried underneath those simple answers? Doesn't exist? They do exist, the problem is that no one wants to go through the trouble of saying: "It does exist. But for this level of proficiency, you don't need to know that." It isn't that much of a long sentence compared to the standard answer.
A friend of mine is always mentioning the story about square root of negative numbers. Yeah, I hear that a lot from my teachers too. No, there is no square root for negative numbers. No, there isn't until the last year of high school, when the very same teacher says: Yes, there are imaginary numbers which take part in thee square root of negative numbers. Great. Then what was the bullshit about it didn't exist?! Huh?!
Another very funny one is from my Chemistry teacher. Damn, the answer she gave me really made me laugh. There was a chemical equation for which we had to write down the products of a certain reaction. I wrote down my answer. Then the one teacher gave the class was different. So, I thought I was wrong. But, it bugged me so I asked a chemist about the answer I wrote. Turns out that my answer was actually right. Next day, I sought my chemistry teacher and confronted her with my answer. What did she say? Ha, she said: Your answer is the correct answer, but in this stage of studies you are not supposed to know that, that's why there is another standard answer. What the hell?! That's what I thought, because I just couldn't see any similarities in the standard answer and my own, which turns out to be a correct one.
Another problem this brings would probably be the death of curiosity. Teachers don't encourage students to find out more about certain subjects on their own. The whole system teaches not knowledge, nor method, but standard answers. How many curious students did that kill? I'm not going to say I'm a victim, because I'm not. But that sort of thing really did kill my curiosity for a long while. And I didn't realize until I got it back. This way of teaching sucks! Not as if I can suggest one better, but I'm sure there is someone out there that can.
I suddenly begin to understand why rich people have their personal tutor. That's really sort of useful.