9 September 2011

Anxious week

I feel like the price i'm paying it's too high.
First of all, I probably need a job to be happy, which I don't have because I have no social skills.
I hate when I get nothing done, and have to wait for other people to do their part. I never know when they will remember to do it. I hate it when things are not in my hands. I can only go with the flow, totally in a passive state. I wonder how many times I've cried only this week. I've been crying too much recently and no one really needs to know, but I just feel better.
I'm starting to wonder if the price I'm paying it's too high. Given the circumstances, the best thing I could do is to stop going to college for a while, but I don't really want to do that, and also I don't think that's what my parents want. I really should stop studying and start working just for the sake of being near my mom. But now, all I can do is try to balance between what I want and what I feel obliged to do because of family duty. This is going to be a hard year. I hope I achieve something I can be satisfied about, or else, this price won't be worth paying.

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