18 November 2012

Fall

Gravity was what made Newton's apple fall. Gravity is what pulls thing down, pulls things together. Living on Earth, one is expected to fall. Falling is inevitable... or not. Metaphorically saying, if you screw up in life, you are destined to fall. And I have to say it is absolutely unbelievable how low and deep one can fall, there's just no end to it. Once you begin, it's a spiral downwards deeper and deeper, no deepest. I have to admit, I started spiraling down five years ago when I quit music. It was the best thing I did, for one year. The next year, I could tell, something was wrong. Now, I clearly know I need to change, but it's not easy. Just like gravity pulls down, and it's easier to walk downstairs than up. In life, it's way easier to fall than to get up again. Difficult, but not impossible, that's what actually matters. It's all good as long as there is a way around.

I've been struggling and trying to find my way back. Not exactly back, because what's done can't be undone and what past has past forever. I had my issues and relapses, until today. I met my best friend. We had dinner with a bunch of acquaintances and had a really long talk afterwards. We talked about the actualities, school and other stuff. We talked about people wouldn't move forward, who would complain but do nothing. And what she said next made me feel guilty. She said, she was becoming like that. She said she was changing a bit towards that. And I realized, how much of an influence one can exert on another. I've considered her my best friend and confidant for nine years. To other people, I have always been a big sister to her. To me, I just felt I had someone with common interests to talk with. Today, I came to realize, how I was influencing her and how bad an example I was making. 'Do what I say, don't do what I do'? That's bull. I can't complain about other people. I'm spiraling downwards myself. Maybe I should look more into myself instead of looking at others. I should also look up instead of looking down. Looking down is not good. it's just a self-condescending position you take when you want to find excuses for not doing things. If you think, I can do better than him, you are wrong. What you should be thinking is, I can't do better than him. If you look down, you are bound to go down. Eyes are there to guide people. You tend to go where you are looking at. So,
Look up!
Climb!
Fly!
Everyone is entitled to do that. Everyone has the ability to do that. But it's not everyone that has the will to do it. That, is what makes the difference. Up we go. Today, I AM NOT LOOKING DOWN.

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