25 February 2013

Being happy

More and more people are suffering from depression, as a clinical condition. I even recon in mysel signs of slight depression, but I think I'm still far from being considered clinically as depressed.
Do not understimate depression. I heard from a friend researching on this subject that depression is one of the most debilitating conditions. People don't notice depression or are too shy to seek a doctor until it's too severe not to treat it. Some scientists call into question whether current antidepressants exert any pharmacological effect. Groups of scientists are still tackling the physiopathology of depression. Leaving the science aside, why is depression sounding more and more like an urban epidemic disease?
It affects people all over the world, from different classes, different races, different ages.
This is my question: Is it that difficult to be happy?
My answer: No.

It is only as difficult as we make it. We have so much yet we want more. Have you ever heard of a beggar suffering from depression? I have yet to hear about such a thing. They have nothing, yet are they depressed about it?
There are people more prone to depression, but there are people who are immune to depression. I believe so. It depends on the personality. Where one person sees a failure, another sees an opportunity to do better next time. Where one person gets frustrated over uncompleted work or unaccomplished tasks, another accepts the fact and moves on to do better next time.

Accepting failure is part of life. I saw a post on Facebook some days ago. "Life is a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. But it's your choice to scream or enjoy the ride." It's true. It's our choice to be happy or not. I know people don't tend to be happy when they fail, but accepting the fact is part of life. Learning to accept reality is important to move on. Time goes on, it doesn't wait for anyone, and I think no one wants to miss that ride.

Humans are social animals. Over time, we are bound to meet more people. Among them, we are bound to meet people we don't like, we are bound to raise conflict. Different people have different opinions and points of view, different personalities. They can make us feel angry, frustrated, misunderstood, disappointed. But when that happens, please, forgive them. I know how that feels all too well, but forgiving those people is forgiving yourself. Why punish yourself for something other people did wrong? If one is able to forgive, one is able to let go of the anger and all negative feelings. Forgiving is a way to let go, a way to inner peace.

Have you ever felt tired right at the beginning of a day? What about at the end of a day? Take care and notice, do you feel tired when you have a pile of tasks to do or when you have concluded a ton of tasks? I think, one would expect it to be the later, but psychologically, we do feel tired because of things we have yet to do, not because of things we've already done. Having concluded a task gives you a sense of conclusion, satisfaction and accomplishment. That is the key to selfpraise. Feeling down right now? Think about everything that you accomplished. The more you try to do, the more you can do. Success is something that gives off positive feelings, but success needs investment. It requires hard work. Even if you work hard, it may not pay off, that's the reality, but you think the other way around. If you don't work hard, it will never pay off. Take your chances. It you don't try you'll be left with regrets that you might not even know they were there. Leaving no regrets is facing forward.

We are bound to grow old. Have you noticed how happy children can be? Why can't we? We have to worry about more stuff, we have society's restrain. True. But, who says children don't have their own worries? They just manage to find happiness in the small things. If you look hard into your routine, you might find something that's different everyday. It makes every day a unique day. If it's so unique, why shouldn't we celebrate it? Adults are too used to the world, too used to society. Don't ignore the small things. There was an Avril Lavigne song in which there was a lyrics refering to the "Little things that make life great." Being happy is not hard, not expensive, does not take too much time. It takes a person with open heart and mind. Happiness can be found. You just need too be looking for it. Don't be too demanding, that's not realistic.
Today, I bought a cake. I love to eat cake. The last one I ate was on my birthday. I don't get to eat cake too often because they are rather expensive. But today, I got my chance to enjoy some delicious cake. What more, the sun was shinining outside lifting my mood quite much. Today, something as simple as eating cake made happy. Don't ask too much, I'd rather be more times happy than more times disappointed.

18 February 2013


Have you ever wished you have superpowers? I have. Actually, I'm wishing it right now.
New semester starts with a lot of classes, family drama and a lot of work. I just made my timetable for the next five months, and I have to say. I'm scared. The schedule is totally packed. Right now, I wish I was superwoman, to be able to have superspeed so I don't have to spend so much time commuting. I wish I didn't have to sleep or eat. I wish had photographic memory, which I don't have, but some people have.
My to do list is permanently full. There are a lot more things that I wanted to do, but I know I won't have time for them, so I don't even bother putting them on my to do list.
Other than my usual 24 hours of classes weekly, I have to spend 10 to 15 hours on project. Take three hours out to part time job (plus two hours walking time) a week. I still have online japanese and professional english courses (which I'm putting on hold as of now.) Have to take out one day a week to take care of my mom and let my dad go to work. Take one morning to weekly shopping for food and other things, how many hours do I have left? Eight and half hours per day are for sleeping and I'm already cutting on the time for my meals. How much time do I have left for study?
The only way to not get scared is to not think about it. Semester hasn't officially started for me yet. Tomorrow is the beginning of a race against time. Let's just see for how long I'm going to keep up. I don't want to be barely safe. I want to be the best. Till then, baby steps. As Chinese say, steady drop hollows a stone. Hopefully, I'll get there. (With or without superpowers.)

11 February 2013

Growing up

Gathering with two of my friends made realize how age really can explain certain behavior.
I have a friend A who's a teenager, around sixteen, seventeen-ish.She just swears and uses slang like all the time, as part of ordinary talking. That kind of language is the split image of myself when I was her age. Slang was my break fast, lunch and dinner. I only refrained myself from saying as much in from of teachers (some) and maybe my parents. Around that time, my friend B who was around ten-ish,  used to ask me not to use slang. Now, she is stepping into that juvenile teenage drama period when for some reason people develop a liking for slang.
I think it's probably a stage in life we go through. And, surely all the hormonal storm helps. Around then, we probably think we are great and we are proud of ourselves, for no reason in particular. We want to show that we don't give a damn about the world because we are some kind of uncomprehended geniuses.Truth is, we are not, but we don't need to know that yet. I believe that period is about the most shallow period in a human's life.
Now I moved on from using slang as my chewing gum. I still get angry, and I still feel the way I felt when I was in high school, but dealing with the problem is my priority now, because slang as much as it might make me feel better, it doesn't help. That gathering made me realize that I've grown up. I'm sure both of my friends will grow up.
Growing up is good, I just wished I could grow up and keep the same childish heart at a corner of my conscious mind. Grown-up tend to forget how simple happiness can be, and I really want that child me to remind me how life can be wonderful.

2 February 2013


It's my birthday today. I do wonder how many people would remember my birthday if it wasn't for Facebook. Truth to be told, I only remember a handful of birthday dates. They have all been my best friends once. I mean, remembering the date doesn't mean I'll remember it's their birthday when the day comes. Funny thing how I always remember when my own birthday is. It's been a while, but I have been thinking of forgetting about my own birthday. I mean, it's all right and I feel happy when it's my birthday, but if we see it through, it's just an ordinary day like any other. Ordinary and yet, spectacular at the same time.
This year, one of my best friends sent me another AMV with Yui's Happy birthday to you you. I still remember how this song stepped into my life and my best friend's life.
It was when FMA brotherhood was still airing. She showed me a Again, by Yui, which was  used in the anime. I liked it so decided I would search for that music and in the process, I decided to also google for some more of Yui's music. That led me to find this birthday song. I mentally archived the information. On her birthday, I sent her the song. She was very surprised to find out that Yui had this song and she liked it so much, it's been a tradition ever since. She would send me a new MV with that song on my birthday every year.