30 November 2013

Treasure the moments

Every now and then, some flashes cross my mind. Today, it was about friendship. It's the last day of lectures in my university course. My friends and I were taking photos excitedly after class. Seeing those photos made me think that one day, I'm going to miss this. Even though I have quite a history of not keeping in touch. So many people pass through my life. They come and go, all I keep is a memory of them. Maybe they won't think about me, but I think about them. I do wonder what they are doing.
Every meeting, every person, every moment of every day. Good or bad, they are all worth remembering. The good things are there, and will make you happy when you think about it. Sometimes, people say it's best if they forgot the bad things. True, but in my opinion, bad memories are also there to remind us. That was us, we survived that. And quoting someone, 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.'
Not every moment is special. But, every moment is one single dot in time and space that will never come back. (as far as I know, time machines don't exist. And even if they do, they exist on very strict conditions, as I was told by a house mate physicist.)
We live on and move forward. We collect those moments. Some may leave us indifferent, some may affect us, some may change us, and some may define us.
There are always more than just one way to see reality. Reality is some that exist, but we can never reach. All reality we perceive is altered by who we are. Every day can be just ordinary. True, I won't deny it. But there is also a way to find something different in an ordinary day. Friends are just people, memories and just neurons and connections and action potentials. True, not denying it. But there is also a less cold way to see it. It all depends on the person and his/her willingness.

Today is just an ordinary day. I had classes and I have to study for and exam. It's cold, but it's sunny, it's weekend but I'm not going home because there is an exam tomorrow.
Today's defining moment, last lecture on my undergraduate course.
One day, I might want to remember that. and many other ordinary days. extraordinary comes once in a lifetime, ordinary, builds a lifetime.

22 November 2013

Jess' theory on shyness

Shyness is not a trait born with. It's developmental.

If people share my experience, then shy people just need a better excuse to do stuff other people do. I do not classify myself as shy, though I do have lots of shy moments. It mainly depends on my mood. But then again, I'm not your average one personality person. But that's not the theme of my theory right now. To clarify, let me consider my shy moments as basis for my theory.
We shy people care too much. About what other people may think, about common sense which is nothing more than society standards, which by the way varies quite a lot, about the consequences of our acts, among other concerns. When given the right answers to those concerns, shy people do what other let's say non-shy people do.
There was someone who said that humans are social animals. We live in community and we tend to reach out for others. So, it's our nature to establish relationships.
Shy people have friends too, they may have fewer friends, maybe closer friends, but they do have friends.
Shy people talk to strangers, when they have a good reason, an imperative reason to do so, just like normal people can ask a stranger what time it is.
Shy people dance and sing. They may not usually do it in public, but given strong reasons, they can do so. They may develop stage fright which can be quite limiting, sometimes it requires some treatment, but sometimes one overcomes it.
Shy people don't want to disappoint the audience by singing lousily and dancing crappily. They care what the audience thinks. Some people just don't care.
Shy people don't talk to strangers because they are concerned with the consequences of dealing in an unknown environment. Some people just don't care. What can possibly happen?
Shy people don't participate in class because they are afraid to have to wrong answer. And then, teacher might think they are stupid and students might think they are stupid. Or they could get the right answer, which makes the teacher happy, maybe the students too, but there is also a case when others think that they are so geek and smartass. It's a double edged sword. In the lack of a better argument, shy people just don't speak up in class.
Now, people are not born with fright of the unknown. We learn that with society, in class and from our family. Depending on the values other people pass to us, and what we take from our environment, shyness may develop. I can recall perfectly. I was not a shy person until probably middle school. That's when all the discrimination and peer pressure began. Society almost forces shyness into a person. I won't say it's society's fault. It's not Some people are more susceptible, some people are more prone to weight the pros and cons. Me, I changed my attitude.
Evolve and adapt, from then on, I got a brand new shy adjective to describe myself. Am I any different from other people? Not really. I just need a way better reason to drink myself till drunk and do some incredibly embarrassing things. I just need a better excuse to do certain public things.

Being the best matters. It does, but it's not what matters the most. Being the best only requires that other people are not as good. Being better, That is a real challenge.

11 November 2013

Jess' take on love and love songz

First of all, I'd like to state clearly that I've never seriously been in love with anyone, in the usual sense that it's used. That excludes all teenage crushes and all the hormones working like crazy.

Now, love. They say it can make you do crazy things. True. I won't deny it. Love is supposed to be a transcending feeling, something to celebrate. But, everything has to have a limit to it.
Let's look at the market. Music industry. I get that love songs make people relate to the lyrics and the tune, I get that love is worthy of being celebrated. But, so is friendship and many other untangible things.
Can you find songs about those? You need to dig and dig and dig some more to find one among so many... songs about love. Songs about love can be good. I like those songs, but at a certain point it gets too overwhelming. So overwhelming I do wonder more than once. Is there a song that is NOT a song about love?
One thing is to celebrate it. But overflowing the world market with those songs... It just makes love and the experience feel cheap and totally overrated. Now I kinda feel sick and totally don't want to fall in love (Just kidding, but I did feel like for a bit.)
I don't get the need for people to fit in to a certain trend. And by it I mean for instance, one makes a graphic music video, then there is two, then there is ten. And here I thought different was supposed to be good.

Just a piece of thought.

Avril Lavigne - Here's To Never Growing Up



It's important to enjoy life while you can.
It's important to keep a young heart over old souls. Here's to keeping the best of both.

10 November 2013

Utopia - Within Temptation


The burning desire
To live and roam free
It shines in the dark
And it grows within me

You're holding my hand but you don't understand
So where I am going, you wont be in the end
I'm dreaming in colors
Of getting the chance
Of dreaming of trying the perfect romance
The search of the door, to open your mind
In search of the cure of mankind

Help us we're drowning
So close up inside
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia?
Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia?
How will the lights die down, telling us who we are?

I'm searching for answers, not given for free
Your hurting inside, is there life within me?

You're holding my hand but you don't understand
So you're taking the road all alone in the end
I'm dreaming in colors, no boundaries are there
I'm dreaming the dream, and I'll sing to share
In search of the door, to open your mind
In search of the cure of mankind

Help us we're drowning
So close up inside
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia
Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?
Why does it rain, rain, rain, down on utopia?
And when the lights die down, telling us who we are

Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia
Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia
And when the lights die down, telling us who we are
Why does it rain?
---

Reality eventually catches up one day. The thing is, how will you deal with it. Kneel and follow? Fight back? Evolve and adapt?
Paths are made from decisions. The choices made make up the future.